Why GPS?

If you never get lost, then you don’t need GPS. If you’d rather spend more time enjoying your travels than reading a map, or navigation has ever been a source of stress, then consider GPS because it does make navigation a lot easier. A story may illustrate the point. It’s entirely fictional, by the way. Really.

The mountain forest was still, as forests are after a heavy, cleansing rain. The last vestiges of a puddle on the dirt track was slowly disappearing as the clouds thinned and the sun began to make its presence felt. The puddle was a rare blemish on track that was otherwise flat and well maintained.

A few metres away from the road, a koala had a found a particularly comfortable junction of branches, and was sleeping off the effects of an equally satisfying feed. It had been a major effort, whole minutes of activity to find this particular resting place.

The note of an engine began to be faintly audible, and the koala awoke. It decided the noise wasn’t a threat, and placidly watched, unseen, as the noise increased and a 4WD appeared, splashing the remnants of the puddle over the track.

Inside the 4WD three people were enjoying the forest, content with its majesty. Just that morning they had seen expansive views of rolling, wild, woodland, ancient rocky outcrops, and their wildlife count of the day included kangaroos, wombats and two snakes. Surely they’d been keen-eyed enough to spot all animals anywhere close to their path! It was all going to plan; this was 4WD touring, and they were off the bitumen, seeing Australia.

The driver slowed for a corner, changed down to third and decided not accelerate and change up again as the track was becoming a little twisty.

The road was indeed changing, becoming a track, not a dirt road. The potholes were deeper, and while the bush didn’t intrude, it was wasn’t cut as far back as before. Not that a few more scratches would matter.

The driver began to pick his line, placing his wheels to avoid the worst of the ruts. Third gear was a distant memory. It’d be low range before long. No problem; that’s the way he liked it. But they did have a destination, and much more of this would press them for time.

“How much more of this?”

His front-seat companion had been studying the map for the last several minutes. The same thought had occurred to him, too.

“Not sure.”
“Do you know where we are?”
“I think so….let me read the map!”

The driver decided that low range was called for, and stopped to engage it. He also decided to assist with the mapreading.

“So where are we then?”
“Here, I think.”

A pause.

“Can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“Doesn’t feel right, I think we’ve been travelling due north”.

The back seat passenger cackled.

“Let a bloody man read the maps, eh? Come on then Columbus, where are we?”
“Look, we must be here. We took the Gentle Annie track back there, right, and we didn’t turn off it? So we must be here.”
“Where’s the river then?”
“What river?”
“The river marked on the map, that should be on our left, in the gorge.”
“Don’t know, maybe the map’s wrong”
“It’s not the map that’s wrong, mate.”
“Yeah?”
“No. We’re not on that track.”
“So, where are we then?”
“I don’t bloody know, I was driving, not navigating!”

The backseater interjected.

“What about here?”
“And what would you know?”
“Nothing, which puts me on a par with you!”
“Do you want to read the frigging map then?”
“Yeah, why not, just tell me where we are first!”
“We’re here.”

The driver disagreed.

“NO WE’RE NOT! There’s no bloody river!”
“Mate, I’m navigating; I know where we are. Just keeping moving, maybe we’ll come to an intersection.”
“So you’re not sure then? You don’t know?”
“Mate, just drive will ya, unless you want me to? I know we’re along here somewhere.”
“Well I know we’re in the bloody State Park, but we need it a bit more accurate that than, know what I mean?”

The 4WD moves off, the engine roaring, wheels spinning.

“Mr Rally Driver, now, are we?”
”Well, now we’re lost, thanks to you we have to meet the others. We could be anywhere. All you had to do was follow our position, and you stuffed that up, can’t you do anything at speed or are you just a tortoise by nature?”

That stung.

“We’re NOT anywhere. And just slow down a minute, I don’t trust your driving at this speed.”

There is nothing more insulting to a male driver than to call his driving into question. If the forest had the same atmosphere as inside the vehicle it would have been a raging storm, with thunder, lightning and broken trees.

A voice from the back, playing peacemaker. “Gimme that map, I’ll sort it out. I reckon your driving’s fine, and maybe we were on that track.”

An uneasy silence descends in the cabin. The driver is driving skilfully, concentrating on his task, but distracted by the words exchanged. He curses his friend for losing position and starting the spat. He applies himself to his choice of line, the vehicle proceeding with a minimum of rocking and wheelspin, even though the track is alternately rocky and then boggy. At least it doesn’t appear to be getting worse.

The erstwhile navigator sits in grim silence, wondering if he said too much. He’s annoyed with himself because he knows he’s lost, his manhood dented, and he’s given the map away. And he’s upset his friend. Deep down, he knows he’s to blame, but he’s trying to justify his words.

The girl in the back pores over the map, trying to reconcile what she sees out the window to the little pictures and lines on the page. It’s hard, because the scenery is all…the same. The track does twist and turn, but so does every track in the area.

Suddenly the 4WD breaks through the undergrowth, and lurches onto a smooth dirt road. The driver locks the brakes and halts in the middle of the road. An outside observer would definitely characterise the driving style as angry, from the first moment they heard the note of the racing engine.

The vehicle was indeed being observed, but the observer was making no such judgement.

“Arright. Here’s a crossroads. So, where are we?”
The girl clears her throat.
“Just a sec, see if there are any signs, anything around.”
“Signs? Signs? It’s not bloody Sydney now, with streetnames everywhere! You can’t just ask anyone directions! Jeez! Is your mapreading anything like your cooking, otherwise we’ll truly stuffed!”

The instant he said it, the ex-navigator regretted it. He could see the hurt in the girl’s eyes, there wouldn’t be a witty rejoinder to that one. It was a barb too far. He cursed himself, again. The girl knew she was no great cook, but she’d appreciated the fact that the guys had diverted to a waterfall for her to look at, so she’d worked extra hard at her turn on the billy. Even so, she had been disappointed with the result.

“STUFF YOU!”
The girl threw the map into the front of the cabin, tearing a page in the process, then sat back and folder her arms. She felt like crying, but knew she wouldn’t.

The driver thought about a chastising comment, but reconsidered. Wisely.

The three of them sat there, each lost in their own thoughts. Each insulted, in the truest sense of the word. Each considering their predicament. They had plenty of fuel and food, and their situation was a long way from being dire; but the fact remained, they were lost. And the way things were going, their friendship looked like going the same way.

The driver pulled away. Gently. He parked the vehicle by the side of the road, turned the key and the engine died.

The forest was quiet again.

“I’m sorry.”
“My fault.”
“No, I was stupid.”

Silence again.

“Well, why don’t we have a teabreak, then put our heads together and figure out where we are? I still love you guys” said the girl, putting more gaiety into the final sentence than she felt.

“Fair enough.”

A few minutes later, the trio had the map spread on the 4WD’s bonnet.

“OK. Let’s think about this.”
“It’d be the first time today for me” joked the ex-navigator. The mood was lighter, positive, but everyone was still wary of igniting the smouldering tension. The girl grinned, wanly.

The driver continued.

“Right. It’s still relatively early in the day. We’ve had the sun more or less on our left since we left, right?”
“There’s an obvious joke there…”
“No, jokes are funny, what you’re going to say isn’t.”
“How do you know what I’m going to say?”
“I know you’re going to squeal ‘ouch’ !”
“Ah…right. Umm, Mr Map Reader, can we continue please, this woman is threatening me!”
“Threatened by a mere woman? Are you a man or a mouse?”
“Nice cheese...”
“Arghh….ok, let’s get back to the map.”

The banter was real, the tension dissipating. With new enthusiasm the little group returned their attention to the task at hand.

“So the sun’s been on our left. It rises in the east, and sets in the west. Therefore, we’ve been heading more or less south. Not only that, the track we were on became progressively narrower and less well-maintained. Finally, the last section was downhill. So we’re looking for contour lines that become closer together. Now we’re at a crossroads, and…”
“…I can see a river in the bottom of that valley.”
“Exactly. So I think we could be either here, or here, on this track. I don’t know which yet. We might have ended up on this parallel track here, somehow. Maybe I missed a turning or something.”
“Maybe it was when we saw that first snake, we were distracted”
“Not as distracted as the snake!”
“OK, OK. If we drive along here, we’ll come to another junction I expect.”
“Let’s zero the trip meter”
“Or record its reading”
“You couldn’t remember what you did last night, so I’d better write it down”
“I recall EVERYTHING I did last night”

The happy chatter continued, as the vehicle moved off down the track.

The unseen observer decided to stay awake, and reached out to begin a delicious breakfast of eucalyptus leaves, seeing as its sleep had been interrupted twice in an hour.

Please note; GPS is wonderful, but any technology can fail so you do need conventional maps and the skill to use them. Enjoy Australia!